A Strange Year, but a Very Good Year for Music: The Best of 2018

Original publication date: Jul-04-2020

The 2018 marathon was scheduled for late October. Training began without incident, and the gradual increase in weekly mileage was going smoothly. But immediately after completing a 19-mile run, exhaustion suddenly set in.

For some strange reason, he could not sleep. The energy he needed to continue training disappeared. He had no desire to work, go out, walk, or even listen to music. This was unusual, since running and music were two of his best-known passions.

The people who knew him began to worry and tried to help in whatever way they could. He became worried too—perhaps more than necessary—and, without realizing it, found himself tangled in a web of unfamiliar feelings and emotions.

More than a mental problem, he felt physically ill. He believed he was losing weight uncontrollably, that his blood pressure was rising, and that his body was behaving abnormally.

Faced with such overwhelming fatigue, there was no alternative but to cancel the marathon. He tried to recover some of the money he had spent on flights and hotels. He did not get all of it back, but that was the least of his concerns. Not knowing what was wrong with him—or when and how he would recover—continued to keep him awake at night.

They were strange months, months that could easily be described using the same adjectives he normally used for the music he loved: dark, lonely, and full of unexpected turns.

He faced things he had never experienced before. He felt trapped inside his own body and wondered whether he would ever recover. There were almost nine months of darkness. He felt sick—deeply sick. He thought he might die for no apparent reason. Many times, he looked at himself in the mirror and wondered whether he was losing his mind.

The mirror never answered.

Today, he knows that it was not madness. It was simply a period of stress, insomnia, depression, and anxiety—things that happen very frequently to many people, but that no doctor, psychologist, or psychiatrist had the decency to explain clearly to him.

Now, knowing that I have gradually made my way out of it, I can say that “he” is gone.

Top albums of 2018

During those difficult months, my wife and children helped keep me afloat. They were always there, by my side, offering their unconditional support. Very slowly, my energy began to return, and I once again felt the desire to run and listen to music.

A little late, I went back and reviewed the albums released in 2018. I found two that were especially good: Heaven and Earth and El Mal Querer.

These albums represent two kinds of music that had never before appeared in my collection of the year’s best albums. Heaven and Earth is a contemporary jazz album, while El Mal Querer blends flamenco with elements of electronic music and hip-hop.

The jazz album consists of two records: one represents Heaven and the other Earth. The album cover includes this statement:

“The ‘Earth’ side of this album represents the world as I see it outwardly, the world that I am a part of. The ‘Heaven’ side of this album represents the world as I see it inwardly, the world that is a part of me. Who I am and the choices I make lie somewhere in between.”

This passage provides a clue that leads the listener to discover a third, hidden record placed between the other two, titled The Choice. A secret record hidden inside a jazz album—what a wonderful detail to add to the collection.

A secret record hidden inside a jazz album

Rosalía’s album is equally fascinating. It is a concept album based on a 14th-century flamenco novel. Each song tells part of the story of a troubled and destructive relationship.

One of the tracks, “Preso,” includes the following words:

“It traps you without you even realizing it. You only understand once you get out. Then you think, ‘How did I end up here?’”

It sounds ironic, and remarkably similar to what I felt during the “sabbatical” months I experienced in 2018.

Through all of this, I learned that listening to music and running are the barometers of my mental and physical health. When either one is missing, I know that something unusual is happening to me.

That is why I am happy to say that I am once again searching for the best album of the year—and training to run a few races in 2020.